Monday, 23 December 2013

Final Fantasy XIII - Part 5

Hey great a new video from spoony, he must have worked his ass off to create this video from scratch after he moved house. He worked his butt off for 16 hours editing this one so he must have put effort into the video, splitting the video into 2 parts well ok I understand since he has put so much effort into it so far.
Loading up the video now and......... what is this. This is in his old house, didn't he just make this video in this crazy 16 hours of editing. Aww fuck I know this video, I know because he teased this video in October months back. So he was sitting on this for months and only bothered to upload it now, this is true because he say's "a sneak preview of October" as in that's when this video was meant to be out. This means that it was done then so what was this 16 hours, was he just surfing porn for that amount of time fooling us into thinking that he was for once going to put effort into a review.
This is a sad day indeed and above is the proof, in this video when the "corrupted Burton story line" flickers you see that image with his gun blade on the floor with blood on it. At the start of the video he also mentions that he will be moving in with his girlfriend soon and that he has to throw out some of this board game junk. Again time stamping when this footage was filmed before he moved, also he is just dumping all these board games that he has collected..... ever hear of sentimental value motherfucker.
He also got a horrid new looking intro from some hack on newgrounds, don't people store porn there.
Spoony One after reading my posts about him
Anyhow that's some nasty looking animation in his intro, I mean damn it makes me think that game boys the animated series was a good idea. It has also been 7 months since the last part of FF13 and we'll have to wait another century for him to finish the game. I think he has skipped hours ahead into the game as it seems so, he has done this in the past with many games he has reviewed. The heroes of this story are facing Barthandelus and he starts to give a speech, spoony lets it play while cutting to clips of Palpatine from the Return of the Jedi acting like both of these scenes contrast to other other...... even though they don't. You see he is just picking at the story for no reason because as we know spoony hates everything and I thought he always enters a game or movie not wanting to hate it.
Sir Rotting Egg of Internet Reviewing
Spoony start to talk about the Paradigm Deck and that when you change a character you have to reorder all your decks again, he then says that he "understands the system but just doesn't care". He acts like it's an annoyance even though it's a part of the games functions and that you have to reorder your decks because every character specializes in different areas and thus you can't keep the same decks because of that. He understand this but yet he still complains like a spoilt child, well middle class life = asshole.
Raines appears and spoony rails the story in yet again, Raines talks about that the Fal'Cie have watched and guided their step every way of the journey and spoony takes this literal like the dumbfuck he is. He talks about the Maker and spoony rages with a hard on screaming like a madman that "why don't they just kill themselves" even though if he payed attention while playing the game he would know that Barthandelus would just get other people turn them and do the same thing over again making their deaths all for nought. You see how he doesn't even pay attention making his criticism null in void, the same thing happens when he complains about Barthandelus even though why do something yourself when you can make someone else do it for you. Bad guy villains 101 retard, they always have henchmen.

He pulls a fake ending and say's that you should just do nothing and not play the game, he also looks directly into the screen and says that FF13 is the worst game he has ever played. I guess he hasn't played much games before as he probably expects the plot and character motivations to be spoon fed to him, that would be lazy storytelling if they did that idiot.
Just look at him with his smug face and his shit eating grin
He complains that they themselves have caused more death and destruction than Barthandelus...... ever heard of a means to an end spoony. I don't think so, if he was playing the game he would know that they needed a distraction and so be it if people die as it's a race against time to save millions. Do I have to quote Stalin now. He keeps jumping about the story just like in the previous videos, he complains that the characters themselves are telling you to prepare to grind for hours  even though it's them suggesting what's on the other side so stop taking things to literal. Grinding is in every RPG so stop complaing, want to know the real horrors of grinding then go play the last renament.
Barthandelus takes to form of Serah and spoony says what was he doing in her body all this time making sexual suggestions and start describing her body like shes some sex object, yet he still wonders why people call him a misogynist. He complains that nobody thinks anythings wrong about her appearing even though Sazh makes this face making spoonys argument again null in void.
In he this big of an idiot..... yes he is. He again complains "why does Barthandelus show his true form when spooked" even though he's playing games with them trying to force them to destroy Orphan. If he was paying attention he would know that, ok it's getting very late here so I'll finish the rest of this tomorrow.
Now to finish off the end of the video, not much to write anyway. He rants at the plot like the dumbass he is and then suddenly starts thinking about where he has heard Barthandelus voice, he then goes on IMDB and finds the voice actor and starts screaming that he is from Swat 4 and he ends the video just like that. This part wasn't even funny and Barthandelus's voice sounds nothing like that guy from Swat 4 as he only did that so he could pretend blow a fuse and get angry making us laugh AVGN style...... because angry people are hilarious.... right. Overall spoony has been a complete dumbass reviewing this game saying wrong stuff left and right like some dyslectic retard, it's really sad and he didn't even credit Sean Fausz for getting his video footage. I am so disappointed, he also has an outro thinking he's a fucking anime. Well can't wait to tear him a new one when the part part comes out so till then,

Video Link

Spoony & April Try Mitsuwa Market Food 2: The Quickening
Spoony like the idiot he is badly opened a packed of crisps and pieces flew out and hit him in the eye, man was that funny. He blamed it on him destroying his arms while moving into his new house, I'll just guess that he tried to lift a box of corn flakes and broke his arms.

In other News
Spoony deleted my comment on his site probably because he can't accept criticism like all internet reviewers.
Is this what constructive criticism is called now
Before this review came out here told us on twitter that he would have it out in time.
Spoony blocking someone who has a point, again can't accept criticism.
And lastly a guy rips spoony a new one, soon after the comments were deleted.

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