Saturday, 26 July 2014

Nostalgia Critic: BloodRayne

I know this isn't a Cinema Snob or Spoony video but since both of them posted it on their sites, this gives me a reason to tear all of them a new one. Let's begin...
Ah, the perfect photo for the sex offender registry, get to it internet
It starts off like a normal Nostalgia Critic video, a bad comedy sketch that nobody finds funny, this lasts about 2 minutes before we get whatever the hell this is.
More like: l'entente tripler pas drĂ´le
The three of them talk a little about the movie before Linkara mentions that incident a couple of years ago, that he never went to Castleton, but we all know that he really means the whole rape threat incident that Spoony caused on twitter. Anyway onto the movie, they just talk their way through the movie in traditional TGWTG style poking at moments in the movie which they think are stupid. Here's an example:

In the movie Rayne get's her hand put into a bucket of water and it burns her, the "critics" poke at this moment and say how stupid it is and how Uwe Boll probably just made it up, this has in fact be taken from the actual video games and other video games such as Soul Reaver, the water could have also been blessed. This clearly shows that they haven't done there research and are just a bunch of bigots because it's a  "Boll" movie.
They are like this throughout the entire movie, they just pick at stuff and expect you to laugh because their chemistry together is so good, which in fact it's not because alone their unfunny but together they even unfunnier. Instead of critically analyzing the movie or just making actual funny jokes they just become one big mess of shit, though the only thing people say they do together is plugging each others butt holes, how did you think the writing process went.

Before the ad break Meatloaf appears and this was the worst part of the video because...well just look below and you'll understand.
I'm pretty sure that's what's left of their charity drives after they spend it all on themselves
I could spend all day writing this post but if you've already seen the video by now you'll understand why it sucks, there is so much more they got wrong about this movie and they act like it's the worst of the worst. Even though it's just an average campy movie, maybe they could see this if they could get past their own overblown ego's, it's not like there wasn't effort put into this movie because there was. It just takes a fan of the video games to notice, anyway watch the video and make up your own mind, I hope you come to the same conclusion that I have. I'd like to see them take on one of Boll's better movie's like Postal, Tunnel Rats, Far Cry, Rampage or Stoic. Because Boll did get better as his career went on.

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