Final Fantasy XIII - Part 5

Hey great a new video from spoony, he must have worked his ass off to create this video from scratch after he moved house. He worked his butt off for 16 hours editing this one so he must have put effort into the video, splitting the video into 2 parts well ok I understand since he has put so much effort into it so far.

Loading up the video now and......... what is this. This is in his old house, didn't he just make this video in this crazy 16 hours of editing. Aww fuck I know this video, I know because he teased this video in October months back. So he was sitting on this for months and only bothered to upload it now, this is true because he say's "a sneak preview of October" as in that's when this video was meant to be out. This means that it was done then so what was this 16 hours, was he just surfing porn for that amount of time fooling us into thinking that he was for once going to put effort into a review.

This is a sad day indeed and above is the proof, in this video when the "corrupted Burton story line" flickers you see that image with his gun blade on the floor with blood on it. At the start of the video he also mentions that he will be moving in with his girlfriend soon and that he has to throw out some of this board game junk. Again time stamping when this footage was filmed before he moved, also he is just dumping all these board games that he has collected..... ever hear of sentimental value motherfucker.

He also got a horrid new looking intro from some hack on newgrounds, don't people store porn there.

Spoony One after reading my posts about him

Anyhow that's some nasty looking animation in his intro, I mean damn it makes me think that game boys the animated series was a good idea. It has also been 7 months since the last part of FF13 and we'll have to wait another century for him to finish the game. I think he has skipped hours ahead into the game as it seems so, he has done this in the past with many games he has reviewed. The heroes of this story are facing Barthandelus and he starts to give a speech, spoony lets it play while cutting to clips of Palpatine from the Return of the Jedi acting like both of these scenes contrast to other other...... even though they don't. You see he is just picking at the story for no reason because as we know spoony hates everything and I thought he always enters a game or movie not wanting to hate it.

Sir Rotting Egg of Internet Reviewing

Spoony start to talk about the Paradigm Deck and that when you change a character you have to reorder all your decks again, he then says that he "understands the system but just doesn't care". He acts like it's an annoyance even though it's a part of the games functions and that you have to reorder your decks because every character specializes in different areas and thus you can't keep the same decks because of that. He understand this but yet he still complains like a spoilt child, well middle class life = asshole.

Raines appears and spoony rails the story in yet again, Raines talks about that the Fal'Cie have watched and guided their step every way of the journey and spoony takes this literal like the dumbfuck he is. He talks about the Maker and spoony rages with a hard on screaming like a madman that "why don't they just kill themselves" even though if he payed attention while playing the game he would know that Barthandelus would just get other people turn them and do the same thing over again making their deaths all for nought. You see how he doesn't even pay attention making his criticism null in void, the same thing happens when he complains about Barthandelus even though why do something yourself when you can make someone else do it for you. Bad guy villains 101 retard, they always have henchmen.

He pulls a fake ending and say's that you should just do nothing and not play the game, he also looks directly into the screen and says that FF13 is the worst game he has ever played. I guess he hasn't played much games before as he probably expects the plot and character motivations to be spoon fed to him, that would be lazy storytelling if they did that idiot.

Just look at him with his smug face and his shit eating grin

He complains that they themselves have caused more death and destruction than Barthandelus...... ever heard of a means to an end spoony. I don't think so, if he was playing the game he would know that they needed a distraction and so be it if people die as it's a race against time to save millions. Do I have to quote Stalin now. He keeps jumping about the story just like in the previous videos, he complains that the characters themselves are telling you to prepare to grind for hours  even though it's them suggesting what's on the other side so stop taking things to literal. Grinding is in every RPG so stop complaing, want to know the real horrors of grinding then go play the last renament.

Barthandelus takes to form of Serah and spoony says what was he doing in her body all this time making sexual suggestions and start describing her body like shes some sex object, yet he still wonders why people call him a misogynist. He complains that nobody thinks anythings wrong about her appearing even though Sazh makes this face making spoonys argument again null in void.

In he this big of an idiot..... yes he is. He again complains "why does Barthandelus show his true form when spooked" even though he's playing games with them trying to force them to destroy Orphan. If he was paying attention he would know that, ok it's getting very late here so I'll finish the rest of this tomorrow.

Now to finish off the end of the video, not much to write anyway. He rants at the plot like the dumbass he is and then suddenly starts thinking about where he has heard Barthandelus voice, he then goes on IMDB and finds the voice actor and starts screaming that he is from Swat 4 and he ends the video just like that. This part wasn't even funny and Barthandelus's voice sounds nothing like that guy from Swat 4 as he only did that so he could pretend blow a fuse and get angry making us laugh AVGN style...... because angry people are hilarious.... right. Overall spoony has been a complete dumbass reviewing this game saying wrong stuff left and right like some dyslectic retard, it's really sad and he didn't even credit Sean Fausz for getting his video footage. I am so disappointed, he also has an outro thinking he's a fucking anime. Well can't wait to tear him a new one when the part part comes out so till then,

Video Link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNYoRdQnxvs
http://spoonyexperiment.com/2013/12/22/final-fantasy-xiii-part-5/


Spoony & April Try Mitsuwa Market Food 2: The Quickening
Spoony like the idiot he is badly opened a packed of crisps and pieces flew out and hit him in the eye, man was that funny. He blamed it on him destroying his arms while moving into his new house, I'll just guess that he tried to lift a box of corn flakes and broke his arms.

In other News
Spoony deleted my comment on his site probably because he can't accept criticism like all internet reviewers.

Is this what constructive criticism is called now

Before this review came out here told us on twitter that he would have it out in time.

Spoony blocking someone who has a point, again can't accept criticism.

And lastly a guy rips spoony a new one, soon after the comments were deleted.

Final Fantasy XIII – Part 2

Well a good idea to put up this video for the new year, didn't think he would as it usually takes him a while to do the next part and it was coming up to Christmas so another reason why it could have been put off but it was only 16 days after that first part. This was a good thing so applaud him for that, at least Spoony One doesn't put up random video's in which it takes as long the video is to create it unlike some other person. You can find his video of the first part below and the link to my blog post as well.

Spoony Experiment Video and YouTube Link
http://spoonyexperiment.com/2012/12/15/final-fantasy-xiii-part-1/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTnBzJCzWXQ

Blog Post
http://spoonyonesucks.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/final-fantasy-xiii-part-1.html

A bit late but better late than never. I do agree on a super powered trench coat being really stupid though as it's just that stupid.

TheXehanorto said

You spent a ton of time analyzing a trenchcoat...A TRENCHCOAT

I also had a problem with Spoony doing this as he went on far to long and should have moved onto the next subject at hand. He seemed to have a real problem with Snow's jacket, he says it a super powered jacket but I don't remember this being mentioned in the game or in the additional text notes. It does say on the wiki though but I always prefer games to mention tech ingame rather than making us read on the internet so you can see why that would make someone angry but it's just one thing and that can't ruin your experience of playing the game. This happens in Halo all the time, like how are the powers ups applied in verse when they are never mentioned ingame so we need an explanation.

He mentions that he punches people and then disintegrate but that's just a game mechanic, do bodies really disappear in verse like in COD and Halo. Is their no graves in Halo after people die, do we just remember air from them as we have no body. Do Spartans jump like they are on the moon in halo verse, no as it's just a game mechanic.

He says what lives here mean what lives in the Gapra Whitewood. Well that's where the Sanctum place all the creatures from pulse and turn them into war machines which is why you fight them there. It says that in the info in the database if he bothered to check and you can kinda tell by yourself by exploring and using your imagination.

Character backgrounds aren't explained because you have to play the game first and you can't spoil everything about them in a datalog. The games reveals more info about everyone piece by piece, it wouldn't be fun if they just explained their motives and intentions. Would you tell other people your intentions and background if you just meet them not long ago, don't think so.

He says that Sazh "just has a bird in his Fro" but it does show you where Sazh gets the chocobo as he buys it from a souvenir shop as a present for his son in a flashback. This really shows a research failure for Spoony or did he not play the game and somebody else gathered the game play footage for him.

Oh sorry about that, I rest my cause

Why is there a bird in Sazh's afro, well the same reason why Ice-T pulls a baseball bat from his afro in
Leprechaun in the Hood.

And yes that does happen

Who actually cares why it lives in his Afro, though this was funny.

Who cares what it's name is but I'll tell you anyway, well for you who don't know and haven't played the sequel, the chocobo in his hair ends up as Chocolina from the second game so I guess that would become it's name and it's a her if you can't tell by a little furry chocobo? Not like anyone cares but this is explained in the DLC "Heads or Tails" for you who haven't played it. So she transforms into some half chicken animal person? I don't get it.

Chicken Chick to Chicken Woman?

I doubt porno's have better structured plot and spoony one knows all about porno's, you know he was going to make his own by chaining up someone and raping them but watch out as Cinema Snob is after spoony since he has a man crush on him which is kinda gay but brad has done late night poker games with Jerrid and the boys. Check out Ice-T explains the down low for for info on what I mean, Spoony better watch his butt as Brad Jones is after him so he'll be in a porno eventually but not the one he was wishing for.

Check out the Cinema Snob Sucks Blog while your at it

People can follow the games plot as I did and had no problems knowing what was happening in the game as I paid attention which is something Spoony One isn't good at. Maybe if your like 12 this game isn't for you or if you have the mind of one then you should not play J-RPG's. He says it's like an alien wrote FF13 but remember it was written by Japanese people.

There is an ocean on Cocoon because it's a planet and where there are people there is water, you need it to survive you know so why does he think there couldn't be water on the planet. It is never explained because you don't need an explanation, do we need an explanation on why their are beaches around the world.

I can understand what he means by the game not explaining what everything is but does any game explain what everything is every instant that they bring it up.

Example of Dialogue
I'll feed you to a thresher maw like I feed that pyjak to that varren back on Tuchanka if you don't shut up.
By the way a thresher maw is a subterranean carnivore that spends it's entire life eating or searching for something to eat. They are enormous, violent creatures that burst up from the ground without warning when disturbed. A pyjak is a primitive species found on several planets and varren are omnivores with a preference for living prey. Originally native to the krogan homeworld of Tuchanka, they are—like most life from Tuchanka—savage, clannish, and consummate survivors and tunchunka is the krogan homeworld.

A Krogan is and they are known for fighting the rachni and starting the krogan rebellions. This could go on forever as when you mention one thing it could connect to another so you don't want anything like that to happen, also it's not a good way to immerse someone in the world of a game that they are playing if you explain alot so just use your imagination. Even other people were annoyed by his banter.

DarkSamuraiX1989 said

Good fucking grief, may the gods help this guy....NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE EXPLAINED AND SPOON-FED TO YOU.

He acts like the Pulse fal'Cie just appears and people don't notice it but they didn't bother it as it was an artifact/Vestige left over from the war after they brought raw materials off Pulse to repair the damage and they probably brought them up in these huge structures but they didn't realise that a Pulse fal'Cie was hiding inside until now.

From Datalog

"The centuries-old Vestige outside of Bodhum was believed to be nothing more than a harmless curiosity."

So that's why they didn't bother the vestige as it's just an old structure in the background until the doors were laying open and Serah randomly walked inside, then she was turned into a Pulse l'Cie. If he just payed attention he would know all of this and not rant on this or that. The explanation given is just fine and I have no problem with it but it seems he has a problem with this game in general so he just picks at it.

Stargate, just hope their ain't any false gods laying about

I don't know it this is actually symbolism but it doesn't seem like it as he was just reaching out for her hand. Who knows about this one and who really cares but if you want the real answer then just go and ask the developers to really find out. Don't think it represents anything by the way.

He doesn't seem to be hurt or anything like that from that crash but that's probably due to the game being made by Japanese people and then having anime logic which means explosion send you islands away.

When the children jump in an air bike it crashes when the head up into the vestige, it then fades to black. Fade to black solves all problems as then you don't have to animate the crash which = less development time. He might as well have pulled the boomerang from his ass and nice the ring Terror's Realm reference, I would also like to know who created and what the hell a deer antler whip stick is. I mean that's really stupid.

At 21:28 he starts to talk about the aerosol strength, stealth and defense power ups. Cloaking devices come in aerosol spray can's, invisibility in a can, dawning your armor in deodorant. I mean that's really stupid, what were the developers thinking putting something that stupid in the game. Saying invisibility in a can out loud must bring down your IQ alone.

At 25:20 he say's it's been only two hours into the game but why has he been showing clips after this part being the flashbacks, Gapra Whitewood and more. He should just work his way through the game showing parts as he goes along and not jump sections ahead in the game, I know it probably makes it easier to create the video but still. So 10 Serah counts, wonder how much we will have by the end of the review. Good to do this again since the ass shots from the tenth final fantasy.

They fall from the vestige and appear fine but they aren't hurt because they have now become L'Cie's which gives them superhuman powers and strength. That is probably the reason why they are harmed by the fall but he didn't mention that now did he. Of course he is just picking at the game but he should mention at least some of this to show that he actually played the game. Spoony One should really cut that hair of his a sit looks disgusting being sweaty looking and all. Brad Jones also has a man crush on Spoony because of his hair so he should watch his ass from now on. Well the blog post is over now and I am eagerly awaiting part 3 of his review of FF13 so till then.

Dang it, Cut that hair

Just encase you didn't already know that Spoony One threatened to chain someone up in his basement and rape them you know now.

Final Fantasy XIII – Part 2 Video Links
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWwIOExsFs8
http://spoonyexperiment.com/2012/12/31/final-fantasy-xiii-part-2/