Final Fantasy XIII - Part 5

Hey great a new video from spoony, he must have worked his ass off to create this video from scratch after he moved house. He worked his butt off for 16 hours editing this one so he must have put effort into the video, splitting the video into 2 parts well ok I understand since he has put so much effort into it so far.

Loading up the video now and......... what is this. This is in his old house, didn't he just make this video in this crazy 16 hours of editing. Aww fuck I know this video, I know because he teased this video in October months back. So he was sitting on this for months and only bothered to upload it now, this is true because he say's "a sneak preview of October" as in that's when this video was meant to be out. This means that it was done then so what was this 16 hours, was he just surfing porn for that amount of time fooling us into thinking that he was for once going to put effort into a review.

This is a sad day indeed and above is the proof, in this video when the "corrupted Burton story line" flickers you see that image with his gun blade on the floor with blood on it. At the start of the video he also mentions that he will be moving in with his girlfriend soon and that he has to throw out some of this board game junk. Again time stamping when this footage was filmed before he moved, also he is just dumping all these board games that he has collected..... ever hear of sentimental value motherfucker.

He also got a horrid new looking intro from some hack on newgrounds, don't people store porn there.

Spoony One after reading my posts about him

Anyhow that's some nasty looking animation in his intro, I mean damn it makes me think that game boys the animated series was a good idea. It has also been 7 months since the last part of FF13 and we'll have to wait another century for him to finish the game. I think he has skipped hours ahead into the game as it seems so, he has done this in the past with many games he has reviewed. The heroes of this story are facing Barthandelus and he starts to give a speech, spoony lets it play while cutting to clips of Palpatine from the Return of the Jedi acting like both of these scenes contrast to other other...... even though they don't. You see he is just picking at the story for no reason because as we know spoony hates everything and I thought he always enters a game or movie not wanting to hate it.

Sir Rotting Egg of Internet Reviewing

Spoony start to talk about the Paradigm Deck and that when you change a character you have to reorder all your decks again, he then says that he "understands the system but just doesn't care". He acts like it's an annoyance even though it's a part of the games functions and that you have to reorder your decks because every character specializes in different areas and thus you can't keep the same decks because of that. He understand this but yet he still complains like a spoilt child, well middle class life = asshole.

Raines appears and spoony rails the story in yet again, Raines talks about that the Fal'Cie have watched and guided their step every way of the journey and spoony takes this literal like the dumbfuck he is. He talks about the Maker and spoony rages with a hard on screaming like a madman that "why don't they just kill themselves" even though if he payed attention while playing the game he would know that Barthandelus would just get other people turn them and do the same thing over again making their deaths all for nought. You see how he doesn't even pay attention making his criticism null in void, the same thing happens when he complains about Barthandelus even though why do something yourself when you can make someone else do it for you. Bad guy villains 101 retard, they always have henchmen.

He pulls a fake ending and say's that you should just do nothing and not play the game, he also looks directly into the screen and says that FF13 is the worst game he has ever played. I guess he hasn't played much games before as he probably expects the plot and character motivations to be spoon fed to him, that would be lazy storytelling if they did that idiot.

Just look at him with his smug face and his shit eating grin

He complains that they themselves have caused more death and destruction than Barthandelus...... ever heard of a means to an end spoony. I don't think so, if he was playing the game he would know that they needed a distraction and so be it if people die as it's a race against time to save millions. Do I have to quote Stalin now. He keeps jumping about the story just like in the previous videos, he complains that the characters themselves are telling you to prepare to grind for hours  even though it's them suggesting what's on the other side so stop taking things to literal. Grinding is in every RPG so stop complaing, want to know the real horrors of grinding then go play the last renament.

Barthandelus takes to form of Serah and spoony says what was he doing in her body all this time making sexual suggestions and start describing her body like shes some sex object, yet he still wonders why people call him a misogynist. He complains that nobody thinks anythings wrong about her appearing even though Sazh makes this face making spoonys argument again null in void.

In he this big of an idiot..... yes he is. He again complains "why does Barthandelus show his true form when spooked" even though he's playing games with them trying to force them to destroy Orphan. If he was paying attention he would know that, ok it's getting very late here so I'll finish the rest of this tomorrow.

Now to finish off the end of the video, not much to write anyway. He rants at the plot like the dumbass he is and then suddenly starts thinking about where he has heard Barthandelus voice, he then goes on IMDB and finds the voice actor and starts screaming that he is from Swat 4 and he ends the video just like that. This part wasn't even funny and Barthandelus's voice sounds nothing like that guy from Swat 4 as he only did that so he could pretend blow a fuse and get angry making us laugh AVGN style...... because angry people are hilarious.... right. Overall spoony has been a complete dumbass reviewing this game saying wrong stuff left and right like some dyslectic retard, it's really sad and he didn't even credit Sean Fausz for getting his video footage. I am so disappointed, he also has an outro thinking he's a fucking anime. Well can't wait to tear him a new one when the part part comes out so till then,

Video Link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNYoRdQnxvs
http://spoonyexperiment.com/2013/12/22/final-fantasy-xiii-part-5/


Spoony & April Try Mitsuwa Market Food 2: The Quickening
Spoony like the idiot he is badly opened a packed of crisps and pieces flew out and hit him in the eye, man was that funny. He blamed it on him destroying his arms while moving into his new house, I'll just guess that he tried to lift a box of corn flakes and broke his arms.

In other News
Spoony deleted my comment on his site probably because he can't accept criticism like all internet reviewers.

Is this what constructive criticism is called now

Before this review came out here told us on twitter that he would have it out in time.

Spoony blocking someone who has a point, again can't accept criticism.

And lastly a guy rips spoony a new one, soon after the comments were deleted.

Final Fantasy XIII Review (Part 4)

Oh yea it's here, the next part to his review. Didn't take him 4 months this time which is a major plus, it arrived way sooner than I expected. He has also been having problems editing the video's as he has experienced crashes and programs not working when he needs them to, I can understand that and know what it's like. Good to see that Spoony one puts his video's on YouTube as most internet reviews don't only keeping them on blip to maximize profits, the video also lasts 34 minutes long so your in for a treat.

Anyway he stars off the review by talking about the Crystarium in the game which is the leveling up system. He say's that it's basically holding down a button which it kinda is, he say's that leveling up is meant to be the best part of RPG's seeing where you can improve your character and what new skills you can learn but with this game you just hold A. I agree with him here as that's what it is, he compares it to a corridor as there is only one way forward.

Later on in the game you can make whatever character whichever role but there isn't any point that far into the game as everyone is already specialized and making them something else is just a complete waste of time. Spoony one also mentions this and he's right, he spends about 8 minutes talking about this overall. He then goes back to the story and the gang have arrived at hopes house.

He points out that this plan is stupid since it's the obvious place that they will look for them as they can guess Google his name but hope had to tell his father about what happened to his mother which he doesn't mention, did he even play the game. Guess what happens next, the bad guys surround the house. Snow goes out to talk to them and Spoony cuts to black making it seem that they killed him, that was funny but he didn't have to add credits in making it seem like the end of the game as that and the music playing kinda spoiled what he did.

Snow try's to talk them down and convince the soldiers but Spoony points out that he has been killing their friends who have just been doing their job while also they have not been winning the hearts and minds of the people. He cuts to the clip where snow shouts "I am here to kill you all" to a bunch of civilians. I agree as how about I slaughter someones family and then shout PEACE Boss Nass style, see what I mean.

Sawyer from lost arrives, drops a smoke grenade and the gang escapes to safety, um yay.

A ride for a ride

Spoony then starts to complain about what exactly are you picking up and mixing into your weapons to make them better. He then starts to look at a bunch of different items that you collect making fun of the game, he say's that if he has a banana filled with hobo cum it can make a weapon better. The items in the game aren't far off, murky ooze, strange fluid, tear of frustration, I mean seriously what the hell are these. Can you pick up shit and somehow make your weapon better or will it just stain the blade. Spoony makes a Ring Terror's Realm joke in here saying that is dallad jelly, nice reference.

He then starts to attack the game on how you level up your weapons, he say's that he just doesn't get it saying that the xp boost changes from weapon to weapon acting like it shouldn't. Did he even play the game because you use the wild parts to gain xp boosts while the mechanical items give massive exp gains, you learn this while playing the game but he didn't and never mentioned what I just did. Research failure and I learned that from playing the game which it seems he didn't. He also points out that you level the shit out of a weapon but get new ones and you just throw them away since what you already have is better than the new one you picked up so what's the point. Works both way's as the new ones can go further than the old ones but he does have a point.

He then goes on to do a sketch with doctor insano pocking fun at the game about how you make your weapons better, it was funny but it when on far too long. That's nasty, just look at the gun blade.

Sazh and Vanille are at Nautilus the City of Dreams which is comparable to Golden Saucer from FF7, he points out that there is nothing to do while in Chrono Trigger there are a ton of fun tasks. He say's that they add a casino into FF13-2 but thy manage to fuck that up as well, they really do as I have played the second game and Serendipity really sucks. Not fun at all especially with Antonio Banderas esque casino owner..... and that's funny how.

There are chocobo's but no chocobo racing, what gives.

Spoony one say's that there is a man walking about an amusement park hitting on young girls, he then say's that he's just saying. We all know those black guys, haven't you saw Okinawa. He's referring to Sazh by the way. Sazh pretends to shoot himself and vanille gets captured, they don't even see if he actually did which Spoony points out. He also starts on the robe as they bring those back, remember his childish rage in the previous videos, yea he does that again.

Meanwhile Sazh in Carbonite

Sazh also got his own Eidolon which turns into a car, just go with it. Spoony say's that it ain't two chicks who turn into a motorcycle whom you ride upon, japan and their weird sexual innuendo's. Why not have the main characters race against each other like wacky racers, that would be less stupid than the Eidolon's designs in the game. Spoony also talks about sazh's guns as in battle they turn into a shotgun and he just wonders how that even works.

The next part of the game is back with the other group of characters who are now going to rescue their captive friends. They land on the ship and are discovered, the sanctum send out troops to stop them and three guys appear to fight you. Spoony one points this out and is this seriously all they sent out to stop you, the enemy change throughout color codes such as red, green, blue and whatever. Spoony say's and you though the US terror alert system was confusing.

Oh, political jokes my favorite

Nabaat is confused on what alert they are on and spoony cuts to a red dwarf clip, red dwarf sucks by the way. Tried to watch it and it just wasn't funny, nabatt then say's make it rain when they detect the intruders and Spoony cuts to himself saying make it rain with a dollar system around him while throwing money up in the air. That bit was really funny, let me guess that's all the money he got from ad revenues.

Lighting and the gang make it to Barthandelus, he starts talking about about what can mere men do. Spoony inserts clip from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, see image below. Symphony of the Night is truly an awesome game, I have great memories from playing it as a child but sadly since AVGN reviewed it the price skyrocketed on the internet. Thanks Shithead, now it costs at least £80 to buy it on amazon just because you reviewed it. I mean seriously that's an outrageous price while it's on Xbox live for 800MS Points, I'd still prefer to play the PS1 version though.

Barthandelus then turns into his real form and it turns out that he's a pulling everyone's strings and is a fal'Cie. Spoony then stops playing the game and acts like he won't be reviewing the rest of the game, he said later that he did this in the video to express in real life when he stopped playing the game. Does this mean he will review the rest or just skip onto FF13-2, he also said that for him to review the sequel that he will have to cover the ending of FF13. He'll probably not do a part 5 but just cover the ending in the first part of FF13-2 but who the hell knows when that will be.

This picture alone could stop you playing the game, what the hell am I looking at

He then tells the games creators to basically go fuck themselves for making these games for the rest of the video before cutting to review scores of the game. From what he shows the scores were mostly high with 9/10's from various game critic websites. Before I continue let me point out that Sean Fausz again collected "additional gameplay footage" but im just guessing that he was the one who really played the game. I have pointed out several bits where it seemed that Spoony did not play the game or was he just being an idiot and not paying attention while playing.

That fat bastard again

This game may not be perfect but it still doesn't call for the rage that Spoony one has thrown at it, if you didn't like it then fair enough. I have played it myself and I did enjoy it, im not a fanboy or anything like that and the game does have some flaws or it could have improved in certain areas. I say the game deserves a 8.5/10 and that's a fair score, I really liked it. Spoony one acts like it's trash but it's really not, it's a good game so I say give it a try and even if you don't like it then at least finish playing the game and make up your mind when you reach the end.

Spoony one really attacked the game for being too linear but I didn't have a problem with that, they have a story to tell and it's just a different narrative that they took for the player to experience. I have mentioned this before and just because it's linear doesn't necessarily mean that it's a bad thing. Spoony one shows what the a producer of the game said and what he say's is right. There is no right or wrong in which way they went about doing the story as it's what they wanted, it may not be what you want as it's not about that.

They have a story to tell and that's how it is, how about in mass effect if they didn't force you to do the Eden prime mission first but free roam around the galaxy for a few hours before starting the first story mission. Did people complain there, NO! they only complain here mostly because it's not a "Western" RPG. I mean seriously who cares who makes the games as long as they are good and worth your time, people always bring this up. Im not just defending them just because but I am making a real point which people seem to have a problem with, people did this with binary domain always bringing up where the game came from and called it a Gears of War rip off. It's not and I don't see why people would say that, because it's a third person cover shooter. You do know there were third person cover shooter games before Gears of War, Gears of War 3 sucks by the way. Got a little of topic but sadly this is the end of the video, here's spoony's final words. If you actually play the game you will know that it doesn't suck, thanks Spoony for not giving it a chance.

 Thanks for our patience in between fours months where there was no video..... asshole

Well this has been a journey, waiting for his video's to come out and myself giving feedback to the said video's. These posts did not take my minutes to create as I have spent hours on each giving you my thoughts and that's what it takes. Overall this was a funny entertaining review, it had it's faults but also it's moments. I really can't wait for when he reviews the sequel as I want to hear what he has to say, if you haven't checked out the video then please do so and thank you for reading.

Video Link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgWyMvfo_p8
http://spoonyexperiment.com/2013/05/16/final-fantasy-xiii-review-part-4/